Kickball Standings, For Your Amusement

The Bacon Bits Claim the Chuck D. Cup!

Many said the Bits would do it. They clearly established themselves as a legitimate contender back in July. They're methodical, and they keep the games tight. None of their key games against Fever, Dream Team, Prison and the Mellencamps were blowouts, but their exceptional fielding gave them a sound foundation. Their third baseman, Karl Pawlewicz, launches missiles, and holds his own against every hot cornerman, including the mighty Sportz, Lotzko, and in the case of these Finals, Priest. Just like the John Cougar Mellencamps, the Bits feature a good mix of smallball and deep kicking.

This game was tight, and the crowd was enjoying it. First the Bits get up 6-2. Then the Mellencamps rock 4 in one inning to tie it. Matt Tiger umped like a true sportsman and was very animated and resolute. Chris Hires and Mike Famous from Never Scared DJed a helluva mix. Everyone was smiling, and the night was special. We even honored a great American tradition by singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in the middle of the 7th. That really got me guys - that may have been the best moment of the year. If anyone wants to mischaracterize us as a brawling league, just remember our whole crowd sang together. How many leagues actually have a crowd? Or a dance? Or an awards ceremony? Yeah, we all hate each other.

Back to the game. The Bits register two insurance runs, and going into the bottom of the 9th, here are the John Cougar Mellencamps, for the 3rd year in a row, in a dramatic, tense, Championship situation. Yes, they only reached the Quarterfinals last year, but their playing the Commitments that early was kinda flukey. This year, they blew out the Commitments in the Semis, with the defending champs playing like retarded monkeys. However, the final play of that semi-final game was classic: Jesse Sportz Alexander refused to go gently, juking out 3B Priest on the basepaths, and scored. With MVP Matt Tiger right behind him, Priest, also refusing to get chumped, gunned poor, sliding Matt at home from about 60 feet. That brought a laugh to almost everyone.

However, there was no joy in Mellencampville in the Finals. In the bottom of the 9th they got one run back, and with 2 outs and a runner on third, they just couldn't get the tying run in.

The John Cougar Mellencamps, like so many great teams and individuals in sports, have this remarkable past of coming so close to grabbing the Cup but not doing it. And sports journalists and junkies always bring up Dan Marino, Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, the Cubs, and Buffalo Bills because they know those athletes and teams were phenomenal, but either want fans to either revel in or feel their pain.

The Mellencamps don't need your pity sex (yeah, you wish), and if you want to stigmatize them, put your money where your mouth is and challenge them. You will most likely lose. The Bits may lease the Cup for a year, and no one more than they deserve it. Their cool captains, Tien Mao and Calvin Wong, will honor our ball's tradition with more signatures from America's great figures. But the Mellencamps are still Champions too. Congrats to both!

Here is the Bacon Bits Championship Lineup:

1 Calvin Wong SS
2 Amy Malbon 1B / RF
3 Karl 3B
4 Cullen Shaw LF / LC
5 Adam Duerson LC / RC
6 Allison Willis 2B
7 Oakley LC / RC / Zach Lerner LF
8 Shannan Coghill P / C
9 Shane Dizon LC / RC / Finn Smith DH
10 Jori Klein P / C / Meena Hartenstein C
11 David Peterson RF / Matty Jacobs SS
12 Tien Mao 1B / RF